This is from Sacramento Dating Advice ExaminerLisa Lewis
1. Be impeccable with your word. Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love. – Although we often miss the mark and react out of emotion, there’s always tomorrow to get it right. The next time you need to say something you may be afraid to say to your partner – something they may not want to hear causing them to say something you may not want to hear - say it anyway and from the heart. Do this with the message of this first agreement in mind. Remember as long as you are speaking from the heart what you put out there is correct - no matter how it's received.
2. Don't Take Anything Personally - Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering. – This is the hardest, but most important thing to remember. It’s difficult not to take it personally when the person you love and trusted starts treating you less than honorably. . But when you understand they’re reacting upon their own perceptions of their own “story” , not only will it open your eyes to the fact that you don’t own the responsibility of “fixing” them, but you will start to realize that their discontent is not because of you - no matter how they might behave.
3. Don't make assumptions - Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life. – As we talked about earlier – this is often easier said than done. And ease your own burden by having the courage to communicate your needs and concerns to your partner from the heart – and then step back from it. If they don’t perceive what you’re trying to say to them then realize they're not able to comprehend it right now. It's on them and you can't "fix" it. You’ve done all you can – relax, you’re not guilty.
4. Always do your best. Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret. – This is where self-forgiveness for such things as that silly blunder you committed 5 years before comes in to play. Your "best" is defined as “the best you are capable of doing at the time.” (Which is different from doing something half-a**ed, of course). Realize that the other person is also doing his best at time – although it may seem anything but. And that his best will be different from your best because your perceptions of things are different.
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